People have come to a woman’s defence after she questioned if it was wrong to get a tattoo that she knew her husband wouldn’t be a fan of.
In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I the A**hole?” Reddit forum, one user, who goes by the name u/Grognac_the_Red, shared a post with the title: “AITA for getting a tattoo I knew my husband wouldn’t like?”
From there, she described how got her first tattoo of a flower years ago, shortly after meeting her now-husband. She noted that since they’d only recently started dating, she “didn’t really pay attention to his feelings or cues” about the tattoo.
After they got married and had a child, she explained that when she got another tattoo, she couldn’t tell how her husband felt about it. However, she noted that he did give her his thoughts about tattoos later on.
“I decided I wanted a light blue tattoo on my inner wrist to represent me and my baby A,” she wrote. “And he was huffy, but didn’t say why. So I got it. Three years later, I wanted another small one for a Friday the 13th Special, and that’s when he finally told me he didn’t like tattoos. He didn’t give reasons, but he said he didn’t like them.”
She also wrote that when she got a tattoo that represented their “favourite video game,” her husband didn’t take issue with it. However, she explained that they recently had a “long conversation” about tattoos and why she wanted them, while he told her what he didn’t like about them.
“When my dad recently passed, it was hard, but he knew that eventually I’d want a memorial tattoo,” she added. “He remembered that, and though he was sarcastic about it, [he] said he understood and wouldn’t stop me.”
The woman recalled that she just got the money she needed to get the tattoo and picked a “very colourful rooster” for it. After noting how much she loved it, she shared her husband’s unhappy reaction to the ink.
“He saw it and is super p***ed,” she wrote. “He’s barely talking to me, and is asleep. I want to peel my skin off immediately.”
She emphasised how his opinion has impacted her thoughts about the tattoo, adding: “I now hate it, and want to undo it because I hate that he’s mad at me. But he approved the design, it’s just bigger than he expected.”
As of 6 April, the Reddit post has more than 1,700 upvotes, with readers in the comments defending the woman’s tattoo and criticising her husband for not being supportive of it.
“Please, do the appropriate aftercare and nurture your beautiful memorial of your father. You will probably be glad later that you got it,” one wrote. “Your husband needs to either set aside his feelings about tattoos in general to let you have bodily autonomy, or he needs to leave.”
“Her body, her choice – sure. Husband is not obligated to like the tattoo or even be attracted to her. Sometimes tattoos are a dealbreaker,” another wrote. “Doesn’t make anyone is in the wrong as long as there is communication. We all have preferences.”
As many people came to the original poster’s defence, they also noted that her husband was allowed to have his opinion on the ink. However, they still expressed that he shouldn’t have reacted so poorly, given the meaning of his wife’s tattoo.
“You like tattoos, he doesn’t. He still tried to support you and as it seems he never blocked your choices over YOUR BODY,” one wrote. “Yes, your body ,your choice. But he said he doesn’t find them appealing so if you get them regardless you have to live with the consequences.”
“Totally allowed an opinion but that doesn’t change the fact he was a sarcastic a**hole about how OP was handling her grief before she even got the tattoo,” one wrote. “Then even more of an a**hole [by] giving her the silent treatment over something that brings her comfort that he can barely even see anyway…This isn’t how you support a grieving partner.
While readers have continued to share their thoughts, u/Grognac_the_Red shared an update about the situation. She noted that although she agreed that getting a tattoo was her choice, she disagreed with people who said that her husband’s feelings were “invalid”.
She also came to his defence, adding: “He is not going to leave me over this, so let’s take it easy. He is also not a bad person because he was shocked. Obviously photos vs the real thing are going to be different. Now that we’ve slept, I don’t blame him for his initial reaction and needing time to process. But we love each other very very much and we can both get past this.”
The woman shared that her tattoo is on her ankle and that she usually wears pants or leggings, so it’ll be “easy to cover as it heals”.
The Independent has contacted u/Grognac_the_Red